How to Attract Abundance Into Your Life by Wayne Dyer- Beliefnet.com.

It works if you really believe in it and want to better your life. Its no magic, it works to instill a sense of belief in yourself and that can do wonders.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, “When I die, I want you to take
all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to
the afterlife with me.”

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he
died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting
there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her.

When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to
close the casket, the wife said, “Wait just a minute!” She had a box with her;
she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

So her friend said, “Girl, I know you weren’t fool enough to put all that
money in there with your husband.”

The loyal wife replied, “Listen, I’m an honest loyal wife, I can’t go back
on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket
with him.”

“You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!!!?”

“I sure did,” said the wife. “I got it all together, put it into my account
and wrote him a check.. If he can cash it, he can spend it.”

1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2010 - Police called, arrests Johnny and Mark.. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. Both children go to anger management programs for 3 months. School board hold meeting to impliment bullying prevention programs

Scenario:
Robbie won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.

1957 - Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2010 - Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. Robbie’s parents get fortnightly disability payments and School gets extra funding from state because Robbie has a disability.

Scenario :
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

20010 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.

Scenario :
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1957 - Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2010 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario :
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from Guy Fawkes, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bullant nest.

1957 - Ants die.

2010- State Police, Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario :
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary . Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2010 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

I said, “What you watching that for? You can’t cook.”

She said, “You watch porn.”

Bitch.

“Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis . So I hid her in my attic.”

The priest replied: “That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that.”

“There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays. “

The priest said, “That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven.”

“Thank you, Father. That’s a great load off my mind. I do have one more question.”

“And what is that?” asked the priest.

“Should I tell her the war is over?”

The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t
sell rectum deodorant and never have.

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the
stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more.

‘I’m sorry,’ says the pharmacist,

‘We don’t have any.’

‘But, I always buy it here,’ says the blonde .

‘Do you have the container that it came in?’ asks the pharmacist.
‘Yes,’ said the blonde , ‘I’ll go home and get it.’

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who looks
at it and says to her,

‘This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.’

Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from
the container …

**(Are you ready for this one!?)**

“To Apply…Push Up Bottom”

http://ndncregistry.gov.in/ndncregistry/search.misc

He sits down at the bar to have a drink when the bartender screams,

“Did you see what your Monkey just did?”
“No, what?” asks the man

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table…WHOLE!”

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy,

“He eats everything in sight, I’m sorry. I’ll pay for the cue ball and stuff.”

The guy finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the
monkey ate and leaves.

Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again and has his Monkey with him. He orders a drink and the Monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is finishing his drink, the Monkey finds a bowl of Maraschino Cherries on the bar.

He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it. Then the Monkey finds a peanut, again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted,

“Did you see what your Monkey did now?”

“No, what?” replied the man.

“Well, he stuck a cherry and a peanut up his arse, pulled them out and ate them!” said the bartender.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” the guy replied,

“He still eats everything in sight but ever since he had to shit that cue ball, he measures everything first.”