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Blonde’s Diary


Blonde's Diary

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“The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao. These cities had the best drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them.

Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed down from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.

In olden times there were two big families in India . One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera Bharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis.

The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines.
Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji’s sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door Darshan.

After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side.

Eventually, the British came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt. This was called the swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles.

In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootaoing our country. In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis.

Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand.

So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark. At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.

Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. It can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat . Scams are all over India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland . In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot .

Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left, right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself. India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population.”

Creative Engineer



Read this article if you are planning to engage a star lawyer in India. You could paying over the top to hire one,

http://in.news.yahoo.com/the-new-nawabs.html


Many Android Tablets are pouring in this year even in Indian Markets and even Govt. of India has announced a 35$ Android tablet PC for students. Huawei Smakit S7 however is already announced earlier this year has entered Indian Market- 7 inch Display screen device running on Android 2.2 Froyo.

With Olivepad, Samsung Tab and Dell Streak in Market, Huawei decided to bring affordable range of Android Tablet PC in India. Huawei Smakit S7 has a Qualcomm SnapDragon ARM processor, and runs the 2.2 version of Google Android operating system. It boasts an 800 x 480 pixel resolution with WVGA touchscreen. Smakit S7 has resistive touchscreen which may be turn down for some users but you will love 720 pixel high definition (720p HD) video playback.

Tech Specs:
Huawei Smakit S7 supports 3G voice as well as data, 802.11b/g/n WiFi, Bluetooth 2.1, and HSPA/UMTS 3G connectivity. Also, it has  two USB 2.0 ports, and two microSDHC slots which can be used to increase the phone’s memory. 3.2 MP Camera captures decent quality of pictures. HDMI out feature allows you to connect and playback videos and display on Television and Laptops. Impressive thing is that anything displayed on Smakit S7 can simultaneously be displayed on screens of other devices such as TVs, PCs, and other handsets running on Android.

Pricing:
Huawei Smakit S7 is launched in India at price of Rs. 14,000 approx.


A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session.

Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her a great trip.

The wife answers: “Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?”

The husband laughs and says: “An Italian girl!!!” The woman kept quiet and left.

Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: “So, honey, how was the trip?”

“Very good, thank you.”

“And, what happened to my present?”

“Which present?” She asked.

“The one I asked for – an Italian girl!!”

“Oh, that” she said “Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait for nine months to see if it is a girl!”


Apple is in talks with Reliance Communications and Tata Teleservices to launch the CDMA version of iPhone in India, one of the fastest growing mobile markets in the world. Click on the link below to read the full article,

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Tech-Personal-Tech-Gadgets-Special/Apple-to-launch-CDMA-iPhone-in-India/articleshow/6740094.cms


This scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg, South Africa & London.

A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Very disturbed by this, she called the air hostess. “You obviously do not see it then?” she asked. “You placed me next to a black man.. I did not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat.””Be calm please,” the hostess replied. “Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available.”The hostess went away & then came back a few minutes later.”Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in Economy Class.I spoke to the captain & he informed me that there is also no seat in Business Class. All the same, we still have one place in First Class.”Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued.”It is not usual for our company to permit someone from Economy Class to sit in First Class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.”The Hostess turned to the black guy, & said, “Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in First Class.”At that moment, the other passengers, who’d been shocked by what they had just witnessed, stood up & applauded.

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